My friend Kev, from Virgin, came in to work to see me today. He recently had his first child, a girl called Zadie. I went to see him a few days after the birth and both Mother and baby were doing fine. Today, however, Kev had one arm in a cast and the other in a sling.

It turns out he hit a patch of diesel while on his Vespa and came off, which resulted in two broken arms and quite a lot of bruises. So now his partner Kat is having to do everything as he can’t even hold his daughter. I felt really gutted for him but he was in his usual high spirits. He told me, “I’m a walking riddle”. When I asked why he asked me, “How does a man with two broken arms wipe his ass?”. Apparently the answer is very carefully.

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