For the last year I feel like I’ve been waiting for things. I was waiting to finish Uni, waiting for my Birthday so I could buy a car and the freedom that would come with it, I was waiting to spend time with people I care about, after running that red light in London I was waiting to find out my penalty, waiting to hear back from jobs, waiting to get my degree classification. All the time I was waiting for events to happen, waiting for the inevitable.

But now there is no inevitability. I have no real ties here or at least none that couldn’t be stretched. I know something is going to happen, I can feel that something is building in me. I’m getting restless and I know that something positive is going to happen, that I’m going to make it happen but I do not know what it is.

I spoke to my Brother today and he asked me what I was doing about getting a job. I was flippant, explained I already have a job and that I wasn’t in the mood for ‘that’ conversation at the moment. He pushed on and asked what my ambitions were, I told him I had none, that at the moment I was happy existing. Strangely this is true. I think I have so many things that I want to do that none stand out as burning brighter than the others. Regardless, I have felt a definite change of late and although I’m not sure where it will lead I know the outcome will be positive.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 6th, 2005 at 11:04 pm and is filed under My Life in my Words. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.